Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
