I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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