I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
