The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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