for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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