i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies