my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.