I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.