this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you