Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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