Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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