i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
