He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
