There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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