There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
