I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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