I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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