I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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