If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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