Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
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she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat