I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.