Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
