I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
