There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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