I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
