weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
