you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
