Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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