How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
