i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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