hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize