so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
