$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
