As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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