you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
