ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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