I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The struggles of a small town man whore
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize