You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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