Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There's even glitter on my cock...
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