just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
