thus making me awesome and them whores
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
