All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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