when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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