So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
