Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize