i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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