I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
