i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize