He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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