): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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