I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
