Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
