You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
