Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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