If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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