Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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