Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
