Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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