Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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