Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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