Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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