ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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