you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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