Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
accomplished twins. life is a go
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
