I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
